3 parenting “fails” I feel slightly socially judged and guilty about – but also don’t really care!
OK, so there are some things I do that I feel a bit guilty about. I’m waiting for the cognitive dissonance to kick in. I don’t even know if “others” do judge it, or if it’s just in my mind about what’s “bad”. Wonder where I got these views from? Anyway, here’s some things I do that I wonder about (but don’t really think it’s a “fail” – I just wrote that for attention)
1. Watching television
My child is 18 months old. He was never interested in television in the past but has been able to watch it in the last few months. I can’t remember exactly when this started but when I realised he could be mesmerized by the television and distracted for a few moments it was brilliant (I won’t lie, after giving all my waking time to another, small, person for the previous 12-15 months, this was good). He likes a few programmes such as The Clangers, and In The Night Garden. We don’t watch television that much. Sometimes, it’s at 6am, which is when he likes to wake up, and I’m not awake at all. It’s usually in the evening just after bath and before bed to relax him and so that I can get things ready for bed. It’s sometimes after we’ve been out all day and I need to sit down for a bit and he’ll be occupied.
Interactive television watching is probably better – if I want to feel less guilty I attempt to have a conversation around the programme, asking questions such as what colour is that, or what do you think is going to happen, etc. But also, just sitting together and spending time watching and modelling emotions and expressions can’t be a bad thing, right?
Have a snack, darling
2. Giving food to placate or stave off further tantrums/crying/grumpiness
So we’re on the busy bus, hot, cold, whatever, busy, screaming, child trying to get out of his buggy straps ALL the time (a recent thing), or he’s tired but refuses to go to sleep. Have a biscuit. Peace for a few moments. I stop feeling the annoyance of all the other bus passengers.
3. Eating in McDonald’s?
Fun times at McDonalds
This is a new thing. I realised they give you balloons, they have free crayons and paper, good highchairs (on wheels!) and sometimes offer to carry my tray while I push the pram to the table. Plus, I like chips (fries) and milkshakes. Don’t worry… he only has a few chips (*gasp*) and then I give him separate food like fruit, a child friendly sandwich etc. And they don’t seem to mind me bringing him in his own food. We also explored the feel and coldness of ice from my drink last time we were there (picture).
Hi, I’m visiting from #Weekendbloghop. I know how you feel about the TV–I have my daughter watch it in the mornings when I’m just not ready to get up yet, or when I’m trying to get ready for work and super busy. I felt really guilty about it, but I’ve gotten over that. I read somewhere that the negative effects of TV are way overstated anyway. Apparently, so long as it’s educational and age appropriate it’s fine as long as they don’t want too much. I try to spend most of the day with the TV off, and even when it’s on my sweet little two-year-old spends most of her time drawing instead of watching anyway.
Thanks for the visit and comment! Yes, I forgot about also putting on the TV when I need to get ready to take us out and it’s quicker to put it on and then get dressed, ready, get our food for the day, water bottles etc while he’s distracted from what I’m doing. I also read that some health authority discourages any TV for under 2s, increasing my guilt, but i’m still not going to turn it off completely because I don’t think we watch excessively or inappropriately.
Brilliant post! My daughter watches TV; like you I try to make sure I talk to her and engage with her when she’s watching – and if I find she’s zombiefied I’ll turn it off and pretend it’s broken! But it’s a life saver when you’re on your own.
I don’t think using food to placate a grouchy child is particularly bad either – for all we know, they’re only beign grouchy because they’re hungry!
And the final one – we live almost directly over the road from McDonalds and sometimes, we do pop in there for dinner. S is not particularly bothered by the food, but she loves the toys that come with the happy meals and it’s a nice treat. I know it’s not exactly “good for you” food but every now and then it can’t hurt can it?
Thanks for linking up with the weekend blog hop. Great post!
Thanks for reading and link opportunity! Yes, all these things are probably fine, andI was interested by why I feel slightly guilty about them and what attitudes or rules I appear to feel judged by. I also forgot about the time about a month ago and I was unwell and had to put the TV on for a long time to occupy my toddler while I lay on the sofa and felt terrible. I didn’t feet too bad about it then!